Terms & Privacy
The fine print is where the important things have always been kept. His Lordship insists it be read in full. He has never read it himself.
This website, The Lord Featherbottom Review, and all correspondence from the office of Lord Featherbottom are published by Grey Bird LLC, P.O. Box 570052, 2950 Unity Dr, Houston, TX 77057 (“we”, “us”, or, as he prefers, “the office”). By using the site or receiving our emails, you agree to these terms.
Part I. Privacy
The office has built its reputation on discretion. It would be embarrassing to lose it over your email address.
What we collect
- Your email address, when you ask to receive The Review, request a released memorandum, or become a Client or True Oligarch.
- What you asked for: which list you joined, which memorandum you requested, and when.
- Your survey answers, if you choose to give them. Every survey can be declined.
- Payment records, if you become a Client or True Oligarch. Payments are processed by Stripe. We receive your email, your tier, and a customer reference. We never see or store your card number.
- Basic technical logs kept by our hosting provider (such as IP address and browser type) for security and reliability.
The site does not use advertising cookies or third-party trackers, and our emails do not track opens or clicks. Stripe's payment page sets its own cookies to prevent fraud.
How we use it
- To send what you asked for: The Review every second Monday, a memorandum you requested, and, for Clients, the correspondence of your tier.
- To decide what to write next, using survey answers in aggregate.
- To manage your retainer, if you have one, and to answer you if you write to us.
We do not sell, rent, or trade your information. His Lordship finds the practice vulgar. It is also, in many places, illegal.
Who handles it for us
A small number of service providers process your information only so that they can provide their service to us: Resend (email delivery), Neon (database), Vercel (website hosting), and Stripe (payments). Your information is stored in the United States. We may also disclose information if the law requires it.
How long we keep it, and how to leave
- Every email has an Unsubscribe link at the bottom. Follow it and confirm, and you are removed from all correspondence. His Lordship will take it personally, but he will not stand in your way.
- We keep your information while you receive our emails or hold a retainer, and for as long afterward as needed for records the law requires (such as payment records).
- To see, correct, or delete what we hold about you, write to office@lordfeatherbottom.com or to the postal address above. We will answer within 30 days.
Depending on where you live (for example California, the European Union, or the United Kingdom), you may have further rights, including to object to processing or to complain to a data protection authority. We honor these rights whatever your location.
Children
The site is not directed at anyone under 16, and we do not knowingly collect their information. Oligarchy, like whisky, is for adults.
Part II. Terms of use
What this is
Charles Lord Featherbottom is a fictional character: a mourning dove in a monocle and top hat. The Review, the memoranda, and everything else here are satire and commentary. Nothing on this site or in our emails is financial, legal, investment, or political advice, and acting on His Lordship’s counsel would be most unwise. Any resemblance to actual oligarchs is, regrettably, not a coincidence.
Our writing and pictures
All text, illustrations, and images are © 2026 Grey Bird LLC unless stated otherwise. You are welcome to share links, and to quote short passages with credit and a link back. Please do not republish whole essays, memoranda, or illustrations without written permission. Released memoranda are sent to you personally; kindly do not repost them in full.
Client and True Oligarch retainers
- Retainers are recurring subscriptions. They renew automatically, monthly or yearly as you chose, at the price shown at checkout, until you cancel. Payments are processed by Stripe.
- You may cancel at any time, online: follow Manage or end your retainer (the same link is at the foot of every letter to a Client or True Oligarch). You may also write to office@lordfeatherbottom.com. Cancellation takes effect at the end of the period already paid; you keep your privileges until then.
- Before a yearly retainer renews, we email you a reminder with the date, the price, and how to cancel.
- Payments are not refunded for partial periods, except where the law requires. If something has gone wrong, write to us and we will make it right.
- We may change what a tier includes, or its price. We will tell you by email at least 7 days (and no more than 30 days) before the change applies to you, with how to cancel.
By signing up you agree to receive the correspondence described when you signed up. You may unsubscribe at any time. If you hold a retainer, we may still send you essential messages about your account and billing.
The usual disclaimers
The site and its contents are provided “as is”, without warranties of any kind. To the fullest extent the law allows, Grey Bird LLC is not liable for indirect or consequential losses arising from your use of the site or our emails. Nothing in these terms limits rights you have that cannot be limited by law.
Changes and governing law
We may revise these terms; the date above will change when we do, and material changes will be announced by email. These terms are governed by the laws of the State of Texas.
Contact
Grey Bird LLC · P.O. Box 570052 · 2950 Unity Dr · Houston, TX 77057 · office@lordfeatherbottom.com
Everything is under control.